Monsters with Day Jobs — An Argument Against Exorcism

#SocialDiscourse / #Psychology


Even vile impulses begin as naïve bids for safety, love, or control. You cannot amputate a psyche; you can only retrain it. Stop exorcising yourself. Hire your monsters.

“Karen From PR” by GSB & Scout Hansen

The fashionable cure for a complicated mind is moral carpentry: find the rotten plank, rip it out, sand the edges, install something beige. This looks marvellous in memoirs and fails in rooms where people sweat. Nothing inside you disappears because you’ve named it unseemly. Banish rage and it learns new doorways. Shame the libido and it opens a gift shop. Human drives are renewable; it is their jobs that change.

Here is the unpopular thesis: even the most vile phenomenon in you began as a positive impulse—a crude attempt to keep you alive, loved, noticed, safe.

What we call vice is often a stupidly loyal bodyguard with terrible manners. If you try to sack it, it goes freelance. If you put it on payroll with a written brief, it can become security, stage management, or comic relief.

We demonise because exorcism flatters our fantasy of purity. “Delete the darkness, be a better angel.” Except the deletion never happens; the darkness goes into consulting. People who brag about “cutting out” their jealousy later call it vigilance. People who say they “don’t get angry” outsource the violence to policy. The psyche is a closed ecosystem. Conservation of vice: nothing is destroyed; it is only converted.

I do not argue for indulgence. I argue for governance. Governance has minutes. If a drive is strong enough to wreck a day, it’s strong enough to hold a wrench. Make it work.


Five Axioms for Shadow Alchemy

No Amputations. You can suppress behaviour, not existence. If you don’t give it a job, it will steal one.

Needs Are Innocent; Strategies Are Guilty. The need (safety, love, certainty) is blameless. The strategy (control, cruelty, surveillance) needs retraining.

Secrecy is Fertiliser. Hidden impulses grow fangs. Sunlight and schedules tame them.

Shame is Petrol; Consent is a Bridle. Boundaried expression lowers the temperature; prohibition makes arsonists.

Beauty is Leverage, Not Laundering. Finding beauty in a person or impulse gives you a handle—not an absolution.


The New‑Job Method (field tested)

Step 1: Name the Monster. Use a job title, not a curse: The Auditor, The Bouncer, The Director, The Siren.

Step 2: State the Need. What is it trying to secure? (Safety? Recognition? Control? Novelty?)

Step 3: Write the Contract. When it may act, when it must stand down; tools permitted; hard stops; safe words.

Step 4: Build an Outlet. A ritual, practice, or scene where it does its job on purpose: stage, negotiation, kink, prayer, gym, spreadsheets.

Step 5: Debrief & Pay. Praise for staying on brief; penalties for scope creep; aftercare for the system.


Case Files (abbreviated)

Jealousy → The Auditor. New job: inventory and scheduling, not surveillance. Tools: calendars, explicit check‑ins, place for the feeling to knock before it kicks the door.

Rage → The Bouncer. New job: door policy. Admits and ejects by published criteria. No bottle‑throwing; strong “no” when boundaries are breached.

Cruelty → The Editor. New job: cut lies, not people. Scalpels only; evidence required; aftercare includes a rewrite.

Control → The Stage Manager. New job: call the cues, not the lives. Builds timelines; leaves art alone until tech.

Vanity → PR, one day a week. New job: composition, grooming, fun. Off shift during serious decisions.

Nihilism → The Comedian. New job: gallows humour under supervision; not allowed near policy.


Why Demonisation Fails (and Makes You Boring)

When you amputate, you amputate range. Safe art, safe sex, safe conversation—no edges, no revelation, no change. Integrating the shadow expands repertoire without handing it the keys. The trick is not to worship the monster; it’s to work it.

Sydney Addams

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